The Power of Choice in the Shifting Season

We are just a few weeks away from the start of a new season, my favourite season of all...autumn.  I am aware of the fading summer garden and the shortening days. I am no longer awakened at 4am with the rising sun, and I am having to switch on the lamps earlier in the evenings.

Come and spend the afternoon with me as I observe and reflect on the shifting season and our power of choice within each season of life.

The trees are all looking tired and dusty now, as if they are approaching the finish-line in a marathon. Some are holding on to their leaves with all their might, yet somehow failing in their quest. The summer's heat and lack of rain is leaving the tell-tale signs of unseasonably dropped leaves littering the parched grass. I am reminded of the hot African summers of childhood.

As I stand at my kitchen window washing the dishes in the deep white ceramic Belfast sink, I watch butterflies dance in the dusty air before briefly landing on a nectar-rich flower head, then just as quickly, they dart away, meeting midair for a brief spiralling waltz before going their separate ways. I am filled with the memories and peace of childhood summers whose days seemed to last an eternity and I wonder how to recapture the time.

Drying my hands, I move to the conservatory, I think I will spend an hour working on my cross-stitch autumn sampler. I continue to ponder on how easy it is to allow the sands of time plumett through the thin neck of the hourglass, it seems to run quicker the older I get. Why is that?

I realise that time is time. It has always been what it is. The time of childhood days is the same time of adulthood. The difference is that children know how to value and spend their time. 

As adults, we can be swept away by the ever-growing To-Do list. We have an insatiable need to always be busy, sometimes these are from external sources but a lot of time it's the self-imposed by the choices we make.

I realise that I lose a LOT of time on futile and empty pursuits such as social media, or engaging in tasks that really could wait a while or perhaps spending too much time on tasks that could be done just as well in a more focused, better-planned way that would free up time.

My choices and actions run along well-established lines of habit without any serious thought - this can change.

I look up from my stitching and watch the birds fly in and out of the three feeding stations I have set up. Amongst the regular Blue Tits, Great Tits, Sparrows, Robins and Starlings, I notice a new visitor...the Chaffinch. He has a slate grey head, orange cheeks and breast, and white wing bars and a silver bill. His female counterpart is slightly more demur and lacks the burnt orange colouring.

I set aside my stitching, trading needle and thread for my camera.

It's been a long while since I had Chaffinches visiting my garden. I have noticed a marked difference between the suburban garden of our last home to my new country garden.

I pick up my needle and thread again and contemplate the thought that soon autumn will be ushered in. I love this time of year so much. Nature holds a gentle reminder that our days are numbered, they always have been, and we should be wise in our choices and how we spend our time, and on whom we invest time.

Children know. They live in the moment. When they are playing ball they are 100% committed to the game. When they are exploring a river or field, they are completely committed, driven by their need to know and discover more. When they encounter a new creature, their attention is focused on it, watching, observing, holding it in awe and wonder. 

We have a healthy population of frogs in our wildlife pond.

They are unapologetic in wanting to spend their time on things that bring them joy, that capture their attention, that feed their curiosity rather than spend a disproportionate amount of time on things that sap the joy and purpose from their days.

As adults, we are more aware of time slipping through our fingers, should that not be the very incentive to evaluate and decide to be purposeful in how we spend our time?

Soon I am once again setting aside my needle and thread in exchange for my camera, a new visitor, one which I have never seen before...

I manage to get a few well-timed shots and then pull a field guide from my book shelves...a Nuthatch. I am absolutely thrilled! 

A little while later, after having spent time in the garden, I return to the kitchen to find a small sparrow has somehow found its way into my kitchen. It's frightened, desperate to get out. I try my best to direct to to the open window. It stands on the cusp of the windowsill and then in its distress, takes the wrong flight path and flies right over my head, straight into a closed window. It immediately drops to the floor, lifeless. 

I feel so terribly sad as it lies in my hand. Just like that - this small creatures life is extinguished. This morning, it had no inkling that today was it's last day. One wrong turn was all it took. There is a lesson here. 

Be Brave and Make The Changes That Need To Be Changed

I know that I need to make a change, this whole year has been about needing to change. Escaping from the 'way things are' and not accepting them as the way they have to be.

There was a time when we read real books and not just for 10 minutes before bedtime when we squeeze in a few lines on our backlit Kindle before our eyes close in exhaustion. 

Instead I can CHOOSE to take a real book at anytime of the day (work allowing) and sit on the lawn or a park bench and immerse myself in the authors world.

There was a time when we got our news from printed newspapers, and once we had read what we needed to read, we closed the pages on the wider world and got on with living our days, our moments. Now, we are bombarded with news, real and fake, 24 hours a day from multiple sources and worse, we willingly subject ourselves to that!

I can CHOOSE to modulate how much news I consume and choose where I get it from. I know that my choice will reduce overload anxiety while still keeping me informed. Personally, I don't need to be updated on a daily basis on all the horrible things that are happening or on the screaming opinions - all of which are determined to have their say and all of whom are convinced that their opinion is more valuable than any you may hold yourself. I can shut the door. It's my door to shut.

There was a time when we valued our role within the home, taking care to be frugal, to plan, to only spend on what was necessary and not use shopping as a means of emotional therapy or as a means of acceptance. yet 'keeping up with the Jones' has reached epidemic levels perpetuated by social media. We seek to keep up with holidays, aesthetically pleasing homes rather than down-to-earth, warm, inviting, homespun, genuinely welcoming embracing with arms-wide-open, old-fashioned hospitality. 

I can CHOOSE to stop falling for the expert marketing from people whose only wish to to capitalise and line their own pockets from selling old-fashioned warmth and hospitality by selling 'things' that will 'give you' that old-fashioned feel. I can CHOOSE just to BE hospitable right where I am with what I have and save money while I'm doing it.

When we realise that we have the choice at any time in our lives to reject 'the way things are' or 'this is just the way it is in the modern world', we are empowered by the momentum created by our active choosing.

If you want to sit at the edge of a pond and watch the frogs rather than go out and put on the next load of washing, do it. The washing can wait 15 minutes.

If you wish to spend an hour of your free time reading a new book or working on your favourite craft, do it. You are entitled to spend time doing something you love rather then always feeling that you have to tick one more thing off your 'To-Do' List. There will always be things to do and those things tend to be like an insatiable beast, never satisfied, the hunger never quelled. Ditch the guilt - do lovely things that make you happy.

Don't wait until you have the 'perfect home' to extend warm hospitality, do it now, where you are - people want to spend time with you. You are the key and most important factor, not your surrounds. Be a blessing and be blessed.

Well lovelies, I hope that you are looking forward to the new season and perhaps look forward to spending a bit of pondering time on your own life season.

Sending you warm blessings.